Oh oh oh. I just finished submitting my book in final form to iUniverse. I am exhausted but mostly scared that I’ve forgotten something or made some grievous error. You know that feeling you get when you’ve been planning and packing for a trip for weeks, and you’re just freaked out that you’ll forget something? (“Mom, don’t worry: they have drugstores in Europe.”)
But then there’s that wonderful feeling once you get on the plane, strap on the seatbelt and feel that incredible G-force flattening you against your seat as the plane shoots into the sky? That feeling is one of relief, that you don’t have to worry about the packing business anymore. It’s rather like when you have company coming and you’re so glad when they finally arrive because then you can quit cleaning up the joint. So if it’s forgotten, it’s forgotten. No going back. If it’s something really important, you can always get one where you’re going.
But this is different. There are no drugstores at iUniverse. If I’ve left something out, made a mistake, it’s actually pretty difficult to get them to change things around. And then it will be in print, on paper, bound and out somewhere where some know-it-all can say, “Man, she went there, and she still doesn’t know the difference between ‘Chenonceau’ and ‘Chenonceaux?'” I guess it will never be as perfect as it is in my imagination.
And I haven’t even had anyone other than my family read it yet! All that business where authors ask their literary friends to mull over their latest effort and make astute observations? I did not do that. Why? Because I’m afraid it’s not good enough. I’m afraid of exposing myself. Real smart, girl. Just put it out there without any feedback so not just your friends but everyone who might accidentally pick it up can consider how dull/overlong/ill-written it is (“Goodness, don’t you think she went overboard with the photographs?”).
What have I gotten myself into? I think I’ll just go lie down and put my pillow over my head.